I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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