The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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