Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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