mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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