i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize