I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
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threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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