"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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