I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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