shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
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I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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