I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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