I wish my penis had an off switch
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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