2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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