Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize