your thong is hanging out like whoa
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize