No more Irish car bombs ever.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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