i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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