is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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