Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize