were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize