My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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