You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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