no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
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Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize