You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize