Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
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Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
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Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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