Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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