If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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