there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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