You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize