he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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