Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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