I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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