We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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