Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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