Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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