I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize