I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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