Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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