Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you win again, gameday.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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