she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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