We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
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Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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