All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Congratulations! We have a period
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize