"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize