Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
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I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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