Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize