i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize