Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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