you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
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'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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