YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize