I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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