I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize